I used to look at backpackinglight.com's forums. Pretty much anything UL and extreme you will find discussed there. After a while I felt the site had a tone that's just a little too fundamentalist for me, though. Seems like baseweight is the new religion in such circles.
I went back to doing my own thing, while always keeping an eye on what others are doing. I keep looking around and make choices where I see gear showing up that matches my own requirements. Reading about what others do on this site for example is part of that. There's always something you learn. The JMT mailing list has been another place I follow - very much being taken over by UL folks, but there's some sane voices with lots of experience to counter-balance the gear chatter.
In my world, durability and reliability come first. Weight reduction is great, but without some serious record breaking goals in mind, I could really care less if I carry 35 or 45 pounds. Way back in my military days I used to carry 80-100 pound loads with packs designed by sadists, so it's all relative to me. A 9 pound Gregory Denali is my dream pack, while at BPL you will be laughed out of the forum if you mention anything above 4 pounds.
Maybe it is my body that allows me to think that way, but looking back at what people considered normal 25 years ago, I am totally UL these days. Each year I manage to cut back a little more, but I don't see myself ever putting on ankle-breaking trail runners and strapping a Nylon turd pack on my back only because somebody tells me is the ultimate in UL pack technology.
Don't get me wrong - weight = speed = distance covered. In some cases, that's great, But where I go, speed and distance covered is something I determine, and so far, I have been able to come up with adventures that matched my range and abilities, all without having to stock up on niche Dyneema-Cuben-fiber products to buy me that 10 pound base weight in order to get to the most remote place on the map in record time, all while sleeping under a flimsy tarp with half a sleeping bag covering my legs and my torso shivering in a breath-weight see-thru down jacket while sucking some carb gel out of a pouch for dinner