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Where Are the Silly Jokes?
#7282 09/13/10 08:58 PM
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I was hoping to find some silly jokes in the Chat Room, but haven't found any yet. I wanted to tell silly jokes as we hiked. Since I can't find any her yet, I'll leave one that I borrowed from another site.

Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip.

They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?

"Well, I see thousands of stars."

"And what does that mean to you?"

"Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?"

"To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."

And with that I bid you good night.


Lynnaroo
Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
lynn-a-roo #7284 09/13/10 10:06 PM
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Here's my response:


Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
Steve C #7288 09/13/10 11:17 PM
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Oh my goodness, I'm at a loss for words after watching your response, actually I think I'm in shock....WHAT WAS THAT ! ? ! ? I guess you liked my Holmes/Watson joke. Hey, you're silly.

Last edited by lynn-a-roo; 09/13/10 11:18 PM.

Lynnaroo
Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
lynn-a-roo #7342 09/14/10 06:15 PM
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Dear llyn-a-roo: I've exercised massive restraint, but, in the end, you asked for it.

PRILEP, Yugoslavia (AP) - Outside a small Macedonian
village close to the border between Greece and strife-torn
Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a
silent convent. She is the last caretaker of the site of
significant historical developments spanning more than 2,000
years.

When Sister Maria Cyrilla of the Order of the Perpetual
Watch dies, the convent of St. Elias will be closed by the
Eastern Orthodox Patriarch of Macedonia.

However, that isn't likely to happen soon as Sister Maria,
53, enjoys excellent health.

By her own estimate, she walks 10 miles daily about the
grounds of the convent, which once served as a base for the
army of Attila the Hun. In more ancient times, a Greek
temple to Eros, the god of love, occupied the hilltop site.

Historians say that Attila took over the old temple in 439
A.D. and used it as a base for his marauding army.

The Huns are believed to have first collected and then
destroyed a large gathering of Greek legal writs at the site.

It is believed that Attila wanted to study the Greek legal
system, and had the writs and other documents brought to
the temple. Scholars differ on why he had the valuable
documents destroyed - either because he was barely literate
and couldn't read them, or because they provided evidence
of democratic government that did not square with his own
notion of rule by an all-powerful tyrant.

When the Greek church took over the site in the 15th
Century and the convent was built, church leaders ordered
the pagan statue of Eros destroyed, so another ancient
Greek treasure was lost. Today, there is only the lone
sister, watching over the old Hun base.

And that's how it ends: No Huns, no writs, no Eros, and nun
left on base.


Verum audaces non gerunt indusia alba. - Ipsi dixit MCMLXXII
Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
lynn-a-roo #7343 09/14/10 06:20 PM
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Lynn,

If you want more, go to the bottom of the front page of this forum and change the display to 'show all for the last year' and then search 'wagga'.

Then search for a thread 'Remember when...'

Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
wagga #7344 09/14/10 06:24 PM
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Lynn, when I saw your post last night I almost replied, "Be careful what you wish for - wagga will see this!"

And he did. You will not get the typical, "Priest, rabbi and minister walk into a bar . . . " out of our singular Aussie commentator. When he gets warmed up, the limericks will begin . . .

Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
Bulldog34 #7345 09/14/10 06:34 PM
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Skeleton walks into a bar. What'll you have, cries the 'keep. Beer and a mop, he replies.


Verum audaces non gerunt indusia alba. - Ipsi dixit MCMLXXII
Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
wazzu #7348 09/14/10 06:44 PM
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Originally Posted By: wazzu
Lynn,

If you want more, go to the bottom of the front page of this forum and change the display to 'show all for the last year' and then search 'wagga'.

Then search for a thread 'Remember when...'


I just bumped it to the top of the Chat Room page so it's easy to find. One of the best threads the site's ever had. Gary's initial post (+ @ti2d Gary, not Bulldog34 Gary) is just classic.

Last edited by Bulldog34; 09/14/10 07:02 PM. Reason: Clarified the Garys
Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
Bulldog34 #7349 09/14/10 06:45 PM
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Thanks Bulldog...should have thought of that myself

Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
wagga #7351 09/14/10 06:57 PM
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OMG, I had to think about this one for a long time, ha,ha, I finally got it....I'm as slow at jokes as I am hiking. Good one.


Lynnaroo
Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
wagga #7353 09/14/10 07:04 PM
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giggle, snort, Oh My Goodness, I'm exhausted from this one. I didn't think it would end, I was intent on every word, love the ending...I could finally exhale. Can't wait to read more of your jokes. I'll have to follow wazzu's directions to more silliness, first I need to go home. Talk to ya'll later.


Lynnaroo
Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
lynn-a-roo #7355 09/14/10 07:08 PM
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I live near a small town and farming community, and the following event happened to a friend of mine, a farmer named Ken Kellog. Ken raises sheep, and he has this surly, unpredictable ram which boldly tries to escape the pasture at any opportunity. He also has quite a temper (the ram, not Ken). A bunch of ravens had their nests near by -- about twenty ravens in all. Ten ravens make up a swoop, just like more than four sheep are a flock, etc. Anyways, these ravens loved to harass the ram. They'd fly down into the field and caw at him until he charged at them. Then they'd all fly upward, and the ram would crash into the fence. Once, though, one of the ravens didn't get out of the way in time, and he was crushed against the fencepost. The others decided to get revenge. When Farmer Kellog came out to check on his sheep one day, he forgot to lock the gate properly. The ravens, working together, pushed it open, and lured the ram out into the hayfield. They flew towards the bailing machine, the ram bleating furiously all the way. At the last moment, the ravens pulled up -- and the ram ran straight into the bailer. He came out the other side in a mangled package. Twenty big black birds came to perch upon him, satisfied, leaving the farmer with two swoops of ravens on a package of Kellog's brazen ram.


Verum audaces non gerunt indusia alba. - Ipsi dixit MCMLXXII
Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
wagga #7356 09/14/10 07:12 PM
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Here we go . . .

Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
Bulldog34 #7362 09/14/10 09:13 PM
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lynn-a roo can't say you weren't warned.

Also if you hit the search button and type in the word "jokes" a whole page of jokes will appear.

Last edited by Rod; 09/14/10 09:18 PM.
Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
Rod #7363 09/14/10 09:30 PM
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Originally Posted By: Rod
lynn-a roo can't say you weren't warned.

Also if you hit the search button and type in the word "jokes" a whole page of jokes will appear.

No need -- wagga's on a roll! cool

Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
lynn-a-roo #7371 09/14/10 11:03 PM
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Originally Posted By: lynn-a-roo
giggle, snort, Oh My Goodness, I'm exhausted...
Awright Lynn-a-roo, what about that flat tire on the 395???

Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
Steve C #7375 09/15/10 01:30 AM
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Oh yeah, my flat tire, what a fiasco that was, I'll have to tell you about it later, maybe tomorrow.


Lynnaroo
Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
lynn-a-roo #7377 09/15/10 06:18 AM
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There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy. Faithfully they attended parochial school from kindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation became priests. Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally acknowledged that Antonio was just a cut above Timothy in all respects.

Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop, and finally Cardinal was meteoric to say the least, and the Catholic world knew that when the present Pope died, it would be either Timothy or Antonio who would become the next Pope.

In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work. In less time than anyone expected, smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to see who they had chosen.

The world, Catholic, Protestant, and secular was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope.

Antonio was beyond surprise, he was devastated because, even with all Timothy's giftedness, Antonio knew he was the better qualified. With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked, "Why Timothy?"

After long silence one old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered Antonio and rose to reply, "We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called "Pope Secola."


Verum audaces non gerunt indusia alba. - Ipsi dixit MCMLXXII
Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
wagga #7380 09/15/10 08:40 AM
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And all along, I thought it was going to be something about Murphy's law.

Re: Where Are the Silly Jokes
Steve C #7386 09/15/10 10:02 AM
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I think Mr. Yoga is more like Mr. Caffeine!


If future generations are to remember us with gratitude rather than contempt, we must leave them more than the miracle of technology. We must leave them a glimpse of the world as it was in the beginning, not just after we got through with it.
- Lyndon Johnson, on signing the Wilderness Act into law (1964)
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